Our Memorial Tattoos for Baby Jayden

Realigning with Divine Source...there are no coincidences.

Divine Source never ceases to amaze me. How there is no coincidences when it comes to our journey. I believe in many laws of the Universe and that I lead my path of experiences. So as I grieve my loss it was chased by guilt in attracting such an experience. This pregnancy was very different from my others. Never had I feared so much of loosing a baby. This year I watched as many friends grieve over their pregnancy losses. Then during my own pregnancy I had the flu and during this time I watch a movie with Helen hunt. In the movie she goes in for an ultrasound at 10 wks to find out the baby has no heartbeat. This scene in the movie was etched into my subconscious. So as I sat during my own ultrasound at 10.5 wks listening to the doctor tell me there was no heartbeat it was like an out of body experience...as if my own movie. The guilt was too much for me to bear. But as the Universe puts daily chances for healing experience into our path it is our responsibility to be aligned to see them or attract them. So today I had another doctor's appointment. It also so happens I am reading "The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire" by Deepak Chopra to guide me during my healing process. As I waited for my appointment I was reading a passage about people and experience are never coincidence. As I listen to the doctor tell how it wasn't my fault and things like this happen when there is a genetic defect and so on. I just sat there in tears playing the movie scene with Helen Hunt. Then she said something that just struck me and change my whole perspective of the experience. I had told her about the movie and my overwhelming fear my whole pregnancy. She told me that it may of not been fear but my own intuition telling something wasn't right. She said that most woman are not that in tuned with their bodies. She asked me if I remember the scene in the movie Bruce Almighty when Bruce screams out "god give me a sign" and them there is a truck full of signs he doesn't see lol. She told me it may of just been me attracting the signs that something wasn't right. I needed a new perspective so much. I needed to grieve with out the guilt. I needed to grieve without the fear. I am so very appreciative of the many opportunities the Universe gives us to realign.


Peace & Love,
Jen

2/5/2013

We have named our baby. Frank and I chose the name Jayden meaning ~thankful~ The children chose Angel because Jayden is our angel baby. We have decided to plant a memorial tree when weather allows. The loss has been harder than I could of imagined. All the doctor appts seem to make it harder reminding me I am no longer pregnant with our baby. We thankful for all our family and friends that have been so loving and patience as we greive our loss.


Peace & Love, 
Jen

2/1/2013

We lost our baby yesterday. I came home from the hospital late last night and am doing well. I am taking this time to heal physically and emotionally and am not ready to really talk about it yet. I will not be involved with any projects this month of any kind. Our family is taking time to grieve right now. The lost came as a shock through ultrasound and I am a little overwhelmed with grief right now so I am asking for no visitors or phone calls right now and will be away from facebook. I will be back to work when I am ready in the mean time you can still contact Candice Ruffle or Tracy Gardner through SLUH@nctv.com. Thank you for your understanding. 

Peace & Love,
Jen